The emails - as promised
Finally, I have managed to copy and paste the emails I promised a while back. These are the emails I exchanged with this man named “John” back in 2018 and who I think was John Rodriguez. I didn’t have any better way to gather them so I just copied and pasted them into a word file and made a conversion into pdf. That’s the best way I could come up with as I am not really a technical kind of person, although some of you want me to be one. Or – better – expect me to be one.
Before I post them, though, I wanted to talk about a couple of other things.
First, a recent
dream I had last week when I was abroad. It was a bad one. I was abroad and was
struggling to fall asleep for hours and, when I finally did, I had this freaky
dream. I was back in Rome to my old kindergarten (bear in mind that this was my
school until late Oct 1990, so a long time ago) and I was just outside watching
the kids and parents coming out and I just crashed. I started crying so hard
and I started feeling something, like this pain that was ripping up my chest. I
couldn’t even move anymore. I was in so much pain and grief it’s hard to
describe. I think it was supposed to be now like in this time but then suddenly
I was back in the late 80’s (when I was going to kindergarten there), it was so
confusing. All I know was the pain I was feeling that quite literally felt so
real, even inside the dream. As it turned out (in the dream, of course) it was
an “exercise”.
I recall speaking to this woman, this psychologist who ran the exercise, telling her “you were wondering how this would be. Now we don’t have to wonder anymore”. That was it. Even writing about this dream is making me panic. Think all you want, but it was brutal. It was absolutely brutal. I was just standing there forced to watch my past as it was unfolding right in front my eyes, and I could do nothing about it. It was the most pain I’d ever felt in years. This dream is now stuck in my head. I know I can’t say much because of the stigma that people have attached to me, but ever since this dream, I have been having even more issues than I normally have. I still have some stuff from that time in my dream and, as I look at it, I just cry. This is the reason why I am writing this post today: because I just ended another crying session in front of one of my old childhood stuffed toy. How stupid. It’s just stupid. However, then people judge me when I get angry in my videos because I’m frustrated that I can’t find answers. I know people don’t like me (and I don’t even care) but can I be blamed for this? Can I, really? How can you endure all of this, sometimes even these scary dreams that look very much real to me, and not wanting to have some sort of closure? This is no joke, this is truly affecting me deeply.
If this is all real – which very likely is – then can you imagine if these are the sort of “exercises” that these people have to go through? I honestly even went to Google street view and looked up the school when I was abroad, the day after the dream. It still looks exactly like it did in those days. I will end this here because I know I will just end up crying again, which isn’t good.
The second part is John Rodriguez, the focus of this post, really. Well, the emails anyway. I need to shift my focus. His wife had two kids in October. Why do I say his wife and not “they”? well because it is very apparent to me that they went through IVF treatment with, very likely, a donor. Probably her father. Ooops, sorry it’s the dream or the wine – or both. Anyway, nothing wrong with that if you are single. Call me old style (and trust me, I was called a “dinosaur” because of my views, when I lived in Barcelona years ago) but if I were in a marriage or any long-term and important relationship (it doesn’t have to be marriage) I would personally want a child with my own husband/partner. If I couldn’t have it with him, I wouldn’t want to have it with anyone else and certainly not with a random stranger in a test tube. I’d try and adopt, at least I can try to give an unlucky good a decent life. Okay not with me but I am just stating the principle here. This was a very selfish act of her. The woman wants the cake and eat it too. Oh, mind as well right? I mean, their entire existence is fake so what’s a couple of fake kids anyway? It’s probably the coronation of their fake life, the cherry on top of the cake, however you want to call it.
People tend to attach a lot of feelings and bullshit sentiments to this kind of stuff, and I sympathise with them within limits. However, biologically speaking those kids are not his. I am just telling you how it is. The woman – his WIFE – didn’t have sex with someone else but the end result is pretty much the same: she reproduced with another man. The fact that there is no sex is irrelevant. Why do human beings or other species have sex? Biologically, to reproduce. Those kids are someone else’s kids, in terms of DNA, genes, and what not. Period. I know that people say bullshit like it only matters if you love the kids and yada yada yada but then can someone explain to me why fostered kids, adopted kids, etc then try and search for their biological parents when they grow up? Not all of them, but the vast majority DO. I mean if that didn’t matter then why would they put this effort into searching for a person? Why? It’s the call of nature. You can’t stop that one I’m afraid, no matter how much “LOOOOOVE” bullshit you wanna add to it.
The woman, his alleged wife, is a strange cookie anyway and not very smart in any way, shape or form. She is the kind of person who thinks cancer can be cured with homeopathy and that keto diets and veggie vaginal creams can heal infection. A very dangerous bitch if you ask me. I do hope these kids survive her because this kind of people tend to be pretty fucking dangerous, to themselves and others. They wouldn’t use antibiotics for example, which can be life-threatening in certain situations, especially for kids. I am just saying, she is probably a very difficult bitch. Best of luck to him, I would not have done it, honestly. She and her family play him like a puppet.
Here he is, standing there holding a festive balloon watching his wife reproduce with another random man. Isn’t he a champion or what? Give it up to him, that actually takes some gut.
This is the
link where you can download the pdf, if you’re interested, of course. No one if
forcing anyone.
I added the emails that I thought were significant to a certain degree and I know that they are long. I didn’t add my replies because that would make everything even longer (I write a lot). I only added the last reply I sent him because that’s the most significant one in my opinion. We didn’t communicate much in Jan and Feb and part of March 2019, too. Then it all ended. As I said in the video (this is the video I shot at the end of May 2021, it’s on YouTube. Again, watch it if you want to, if not, no big deal), I strongly believe this was John Rodriguez. Again, do I have any proof to back this up? No. That’s very simple. I have nothing to hide here.
Just read the emails, if you want to, and decide for yourself. If you are a native English speaker I am willing to bet that you do agree that his first language is not English. You can tell from the emails.
Until next time,
Stella
